Aligned And Authentic
Here’s the question I want you to sit with for a moment: Are you being true to your authentic self? That truest version of you—the one who doesn’t second-guess, the one who knows what they truly need, what they truly want without looking for approval or caring about what someone else thinks?
Now, have you ever taken a beat to interrupt your thoughts and really ask yourself why you make the decisions you do? Or, more importantly, why you take action on some things and not others?
Let me break this down a bit for you. Did you know we have around 60,000 thoughts every single day? Sixty. Thousand. That’s a lot of noise swirling around in our heads, isn’t it? It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by all the input, all the distractions. But here’s the real question: Which thoughts are you listening to? Which ones are you actually acting on? And, perhaps most importantly, which ones are guiding your life, your choices, your actions—or holding you back from the ones that truly matter to you?
The truth is, most of us don’t even realise we’re on autopilot. We go about our days making decisions based on habit, routine, or what we think others expect of us, without ever pausing to check in with ourselves about whether those choices are really aligned with the life we truly want to create.
Have you ever said “yes” to something you didn’t actually want to do? Or impulsively purchased decor for your home because you were entertaining that weekend' or kept an item for decades 'just incase they come to visit again?'
It’s easy to get caught in those moments, isn’t it? To get swept up in everything happening around us and forget to check in with the real us—the one who’s clear on what feels right and what doesn’t. But here’s the thing: when we pause and ask ourselves, What is it that I actually want to do here? We allow ourselves to step off that autopilot for a moment, and tune in to what feels authentically aligned with who we are.
I want you to think about this: Every choice you make, every action you take, is a chance to honor who you are. You deserve to live a life that feels genuine, meaningful, and true to you. Whether it’s in the way you show up for yourself or the way you style and decorate your home—your choices should reflect the heart of who you are, not the expectations of others. Especially not the expectation of others.
Let's take a deep dive into the tv show Friends:This is the episode where Monica’s obsession with perfection and control over the details of her life is humorously explored through her prised, fancy china plates.
In this episode, Monica reveals that she has these beautiful, expensive plates that she never uses because she’s saving them for a special occasion—“when the Queen comes.” It’s an example of Monica’s tendency to delay enjoyment or satisfaction, believing that she must reserve the best things for some idealised or perfect moment in the future.
The phrase 'when the Queen comes' is symbolic of Monica's inability to live in the moment or enjoy the things she has because she’s so fixated on having the 'perfect' moment to use them. She holds onto the idea that the 'best' can only be reserved for some ultimate occasion, which prevents her from fully embracing or appreciating what she has in the present. It's a brilliant example of how perfectionism and what we believe to be true can hold us back from living authentically, from fully enjoying the life we have right now. And if you remember correctly, she finally does use the plates for Thanksgiving, and Chandler accidentally breaks them all. Go figure.
So, next time you find yourself acting out of habit or jumping into something that doesn’t feel quite right, or you feel you are take a deep breath and shift from the 'doing mode' to the 'being mode'. This is where the practice of mindfulness can come into play. Mindfulness helps us to open up to the sensing mode of direct experience and to recognise the conceptual mode of thinking and to step out of it, if we choose.
It’s not always easy to break free from autopilot, but the more we choose to live with intention, the more we create a life that feels truly like ours. So, I encourage you today to pause, check in, and start honoring what feels true for you. Because you’re worth it, and your life deserves to be a reflection of your authentic self.
Quick mindful exercise to get check in with yourself:
A great, simple mindfulness practice to check in with yourself is called the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise. It helps you bring your focus back to the present moment, quieting your mind and helping you connect with your body and senses.
Here's how to do it:
5 things you can see: Look around you and notice five things you haven’t paid attention to before. It can be as simple as the texture of a wall, a shadow, or a pattern in your clothing.
4 things you can touch: Notice four things you can physically feel around you. Maybe it’s the warmth of your hands, the texture of the chair you're sitting on, or the feeling of your feet on the ground.
3 things you can hear: Close your eyes and tune into the sounds around you. It might be a distant conversation, the hum of an appliance, or the sound of your own breath.
2 things you can smell: Take a deep breath and try to identify two different scents. If you can’t detect any immediately, move around to different places in your environment or focus on the scents of your own body, like the fragrance of your shampoo or lotion.
1 thing you can taste: Focus on the taste in your mouth. If you don’t have any immediate taste, you can sip water or even imagine a flavour to bring your awareness to this sense.
This little grounding exercise is such a beautiful way to reconnect with your body and bring yourself back to the present moment. It helps you pause, breathe, and step away from any overwhelming thoughts or distractions, so you can really tune in to how you're feeling. It’s simple, yet powerful, and gives you the space to check in with yourself, whether you’re at home, in the middle of a busy day, or just need a moment of peace.