Mindfulness and Anxiety
Deep exhale…
Today I share with you the true reason of why and how I started mindfulness.
Twelve years ago, I was fortunate to be introduced to mindfulness by my Mum and a distant family friend. At that time, I was living in England with my Mum, in a transitional phase of my life, exploring different paths and interests. While working in a boutique interior design store and pursuing an upholstery diploma, I found myself struggling with feelings of loss, overwhelm, confusion, anxiety and even for a period, moments of depression.
Before I delve into my personal journey and the profound impact mindfulness has had on my life, I want to emphasise that you are not alone in whatever struggles you may be facing. Sometimes we can feel so alone in our thoughts, but from one friend to another, you don’t have to struggle in silence. This comes from a place of deep understanding.
It wasn’t till I stepped out of my head and poured my heart and belief into something greater and bigger than myself that I realised, I was not alone. There was hope, guidance and love from family, professionals and even strangers offering support in their own ways. I just hadn’t seen it.
“Healing takes time, and asking for help is a courageous step.” — Mariska Hargitay.
What is mindfulness?
Lets understand the basics:
Mindfulness training develops your capacity to consciously act and respond with awareness and clarity rather than react out of habitual pattern. It helps you bring greater concentration and focus to all your daily activities. It helps monitor levels of stress and distress, and take effective steps to address them. It helps you positively take action to renew your energy- physically, emotionally and mentally. This kind of practice, means giving yourself time and space to really know yourself, to calm down and reflect, so that your actions can be more in line with what is beneficial and helpful to yourself and those around you.
Where it all began.
In the middle of the countryside on a Wednesday morning my Mum drove me to see a family friend who was going to show me a new practice called mindfulness. My Mum explained, “It’s sort of like meditation but slightly different, it’s very you, and I think you will love it.” I nodded. She quickly added, “Also, you will just love her home. It’s built in the 17th century, filled with antiques and is a little quirky, oh Maddy its just divine, I know you’ll feel inspired. I also told her all about your Interior Design, and she said she would take you on a house tour after too if you’d like, and Maddy… (looking over at me) she is just lovely.” I nodded and looked out the window, with butterflies in my tummy.
After greetings, how do you do’s and warm welcomes, we walked into our friends office. Though it certainly didn’t have that significance and feel at all. It was magical, enchanting and safe. It was a little room painted in duck egg blue with a small 17th century fireplace in the corner. There was a darling window which hung whimsical miniature curtains that let in a stream of light. Beneath it, stood a Queen Anne desk stacked high with notes and books. In the centre of the little room were two skirted chairs upholstered in Laura Ashley fabric with botanical motifs, and over the arms draped vintage textiles in fabulous colours and detailed embroidery. The ‘office’, resembled the likes of Beatrix potter and Alice and wonderland.
In that moment, I felt at home. I smiled at my Mum and noticed she released a breath.
I sat on the floor upon an ottoman with a shawl over my shoulders and a blanket over my legs listening to our friend explain to me what mindfulness was. After a few moments, she asked me to close my eyes as we were about to begin.
Utter stillness and calm swept over me as I thought of nothing but white bubbly clouds and feeling as light as air. When I opened my eyes, although I hadn’t realised, I was beaming like a Cheshire cat.
The rest is history friends. In case you’re wondering, I had a wonderful tour of their home and became quite close to our friend in that period of my life. Forever thankful I was presented this incredible opportunity, and the world of mindfulness.
For many years, I had intermittently practiced mindfulness, but it wasn't until 2016 that I felt a strong urge to dive deeper and gain a better understanding to support myself. At that point, I was going through another challenging time, struggling with overpowering daily anxiety. It had been two years since I had moved to a new country, leaving behind my family to marry the man of my dreams. While we had been happily married for 10 months and just purchased our first home, anxiety and overwhelm resurfaced once again.
However, this time, things were different. I had valuable mindfulness tools and techniques that I could use to lift myself out of what could have seeped into darkness. The key now, was to apply those tools and put my knowledge into action.
Pictured above, a calm roller I make using my essential oils, for Florence and myself. Roller Ideas linked here. If you’re looking to get started with oils, grab the classic bundle here. It’s the best place to start! They have helped me more than words can describe.
With the support of Ben and my Mumma overseas, I embarked on an MBSR course, (mindfulness based stress reduction course.) for 8 weeks. It was the best decision I could have made in my life.
Little did I know this course would set me up with skills forever, but especially the next 10 months of my journey.
Two weeks into the course, I learnt I was 3 weeks pregnant with Florence. The course now took on a much deeper significance and meaning. As many of you know, Florence’s journey into the world was challenging. Florence is our very special girl. From early on she was growth restricted, IUGR. Intrauterine growth restriction.
At first I didn’t know what this was, I just did was my obstetricians told me to do, and refrained from doing too much research…such as “IUGR babies often die at or soon after birth, with a death rate 5-20 times higher than normally grown infants. Much of this is due to death in the womb, suffocation during birth, and the presence of birth defects. Many infants who were growth-restricted never do catch up, perhaps one in every three.” I learnt to just be and listen to my body.
You can read more about IUGR here- Article. I wish I had known about my genetic mutation through my pregnancies, thankful I know now.
I had one job to do, grow my baby as best I could, keep her inside of me, de stress and rest.
During the challenging period when I was advised to go on hospital bedrest for several months leading up to the gestation date, mindfulness became an integral part of my daily routine. A family friend's advice during a bout of depression proved invaluable: "just get up, make your bed, brush your hair, brush your teeth and put your clothes on." This simple routine, combined with mindfulness practice three times a day, became my anchor throughout my time in the hospital.
“If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.” Admiral William H. McRaven
My days followed a structured pattern: waking up, eating, showering, dressing, walking, engaging in mindfulness exercises, journaling, drawing, resting, eating, walking, practicing mindfulness, journaling, drawing, resting, and finally, ending the day with mindfulness before sleep. Looking back, I realise I was in survival mode, but the consistency of my routine and the grounding effect of mindfulness kept me calm, focused, and present.
Taking life one day at a time was my mantra during that period. (and still today..)Through mindfulness and adhering to a routine, I found the strength to face each day with resilience and determination. Today, as I reflect on those challenging times, I am grateful for the role mindfulness played in helping me navigate through a difficult chapter in my life.
The truth is, I know that there will be moments in the future when overwhelm and anxiety will resurface in my life. It's something that has been a part of me for as long as I can remember, woven into my nature and genetics. But I've come to understand that it doesn't have to define me. Instead, I've chosen to embrace my experiences, learning to let go of what doesn't serve me, and being open about my struggles in the hope of building connections, fostering healing, and supporting others on their journey.
As the years pass and I gain more wisdom, I've realised the significance of making mindfulness an important part of my daily life, rather than waiting for moments of crisis. I've made a conscious effort to practice mindfulness and breathing exercises regularly. I've also shared these practices with my children, Florence and Teddy, from a young age. My deepest hope is that they will internalise these invaluable tools and carry them with them as they grow, empowering them to face whatever life brings their way with strength and resilience.
Mindfulness along with other tools and practices, such as journaling, NET (neurological emotion technique) exercise, gut health, low tox living, connection, prayers and friendship have helped me tremendously in my journey to healing and restoring inner peace. It is a practice I discipline myself to do, and like I always say, there is no quick fix. It is a journey for a reason.
I love the whole body approach and getting to the root cause.
Articles on gut health and Anxiety-
Is Anxiety All in Your Head, Or Is It In Your Body? with Dr. George Papanicolaou
How Eliminating Gluten May Improve Anxiety & Depression
You can read more about my chronic inflammation and genetic mutation linked to anxiety here.
Chemicals linked to Anxiety-The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health studied 2,983 ingredients in our products at home and found 884 toxic ingredients. 314 caused biological mutations, 218 caused reproductive problems, 146 (they knew) caused cancerous tumors, but were allowed in the United States, even though they were banned in other countries around the world. Twenty-six seconds after exposure, chemicals are found in measurable amounts in the human body. The average woman applies 300 chemicals a day to her body (80 before breakfast! )
What happens to your body when it is chemically overloaded?
Most of us feel it as lethargy, inability to focus, sleep trouble, chronic inflammation, unexplained pain, fibromyalgia, skin issues, adult acne, hormone imbalance, hot flashes, stress, anxiety, and fear. If you face any of these issues, it’s time to kick chemicals out of your life. For me I have seen a significant positive change in my mental health, energy and skin! Thankfully I kicked chemicals to the curb 3 years ago and replaced cleaners with Thieves, and 90% of everything else with essential oils.
“If you take care of each moment, you will take care of all time. There is only one time when it is essential to awaken. That time is now.” Jack Kornfield.
If you are looking to start mindfulness to support yourself in anyway, a great place to start is the app headspace. (not sponsored, It’s the only app I’ve used for guidance and its fabulous!)
Always remember, you are not alone, and your path towards healing is worth it. If even just a single person finds solace, motivation, or a sense of companionship through my words today, then this post is a success. Thank you for listening.
Until next time friends…
Meet Maddy
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We believe in creating and living in a home you love.
Welcome to our journey of renovating our 1950’s red brick house and making it our home. We’re so happy to have you here and help inspire you to love where you live through DIY, design and all things home!
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